(Beaumont California) We have just recieved official reports that at 11:13 am PST Police officials in Beaumont California have detained a man only know as FRENCHIE for disorderly conduct, multiple accounts of assault, resisting arrest, and animal cruelty.
Beaumont City Police were called to the county clerks office after recieving calls that a man was getting irate after being told that the state of California will not issue marriage licenses to those who are trying to wed animals. Witnesses tell us that the man after being told he could not wed his pet doberman pincher proceeded to remove his pants and sodomize the dog. Shouting "She's just as good as any woman and I should be able to prove my love by exchanging vows with her before, god, my friends, my family, and anyone else who opposes man on dog relations."
"I've never seen such a grotesque act in my life," quoted one witness. "My wife and I were trying to get our wedding license when this madman starts humping his dog! I can already see the therapist bills pouring in now," claimed another witness.
After being told to stop having sex with his K-9 partner the man became enraged and started throwing weird hand gestures while shouting "Who wants 2 in the pink and 1 in the stink! shockers for everyone!"
Upon arrival police officers discovered the man laying on his back while his dog was performing felatio on him. Police were forced to use pepper spray to get the angry man and his K-9 into submission after both were non responsive to the officers demands. Both our awaiting hearings at the city jail.
The mans family was not available for questioning.