Reply With QuotePower to the women!
Walking into the bar, Mike said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one. I
just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Greg "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under that bed, you little chickenshit."
now off to the car cruise...
Power to the women!
ummmm.............. its only thursday in case noone noticed
ummmm.............. its only thursday in case noone noticed
Not in AHHELL's world!!!!!!!!!!!! :220v:
So still a funny joke
This married couple was enjoying a dinner out when this gorgeous blonde walks over to their table, exchanges warm greetings with the husband and walks off.
"Who was that?" Demands the wife.
"If you must know, that was my mistress."
"Your MISTRESS? I want a divorce!"
"Are you sure you want to give up a big house in the suburbs, a Mercedes, furs, jewelry, and a vacation home in Mexico?"
They continued dining in silence for a while. Finally, the woman asks,
"Isn't that Howard over there? Who's he with?"
"That?s HIS mistress."
"Oh... Well I think ours is cuter."
FOR ALLL you fockers with the BIG Expensive boats.. you might need to use this one day
ummmm.............. its only thursday in case noone noticed
LMAO.....ooooppss....ok, read it tonight
I was wishing
Martha vs. Maxine
*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Celery? Never heard of it!
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!
:hammerhea :hammerhea
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at
least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make
clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so . .. And there's nothing you can do about it! Pass it on!
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