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Thread: Irish Bad AS*ES

  1. #1
    wedge44
    Some good IRISH Humor for the day...Them FOOKIN Irish they think thier such bad asses
    Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting
    in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate
    against the United States when his telephone rang.
    "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said.
    "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo,
    reland. I am ringing to inform you that we are
    officially declaring war on you!"
    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed
    important news! How big is your army?"
    "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation,
    "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door
    neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the
    pub. That makes eight!"
    Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
    one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on
    my command."
    "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr.
    Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us
    some infantry equipment!"
    "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac
    asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
    Murphy's farm tractor."
    Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
    have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.
    Also, I've increased my army to one hundred
    fifty-thousand since we last spoke."
    "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get
    back to you."
    Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr.
    Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne!
    We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light
    with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
    Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
    Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his
    throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100
    bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by
    laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke,
    I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to
    ring you back."
    Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o'
    the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that
    we have had to call off the war."
    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden
    change of heart?"
    "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a
    bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we
    can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."

  2. #2
    Debbolas

    That's funny :clover:

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