Friday Funny..............

[Her454]

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.
While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or
you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped
home.
The undertaker asked, "Why? Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your
mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to spend only $150.00?"
The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and
three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[Her454]

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door
of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the
few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the
counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales
clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we
do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk
onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss
ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?
The clerk responds, "Yes we do."
"Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe
ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"

[76ANTHONY]

NICE

[HCS]

Veeerrrry fuunnneyyy.

[Mrs. HOOTER SLED]

BBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! lmao...

[Her454]

The Smarter Sex
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman.
Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

[Mrs. HOOTER SLED]

The Smarter Sex
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman.
Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
DOH !!!!!

[Mr. Pixilated]

FUNNY sHIT