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DUI - WEST VIRGINIA STYLE
Only a West Virginian could think of this ... from the county where drunk
driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine
police patrol parked outside a bar in Ripley, West Virginia. After last call
the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could
barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with
the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his
keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he
fell into. He sat there for a few minutes
as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started
the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night)
flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and
then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches,
reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some
more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he
pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up
the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over
and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer
indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Hillbilly. "Tonight I'm the designated
decoy."