It was early in the morning when I was startled by the deafening flatutory roar of 85 angry horsepower that pierced the silence of my commute. I looked around fervantly, searching for a porta-potty with a constipated construction worker in it to no avail. Suddenly I realized the racket was coming from next to me! I followed the crescendo of ever increasing RPM, finally spotting the culprit about the time he hit the rev limiter and cleared the crosswalk. The fierce whining was reduced to a roar as second gear was engaged and the little rice rocket bounced like a low rider with an epileptic behind the wheel. Judging from the harsh ride, I guessed that all the Japanese writing splayed across the hood was probably the name of a local chiropractor.
I marveled at the unique styling of the tiny car as I passed him in my pickup truck. His big, shiny, 7 inch muffler said "Type-R" on one side and "Folger's" on the other just behind where it transitioned from his 1" exhaust pipe. Something that looked like a rain gutter folded flat was bolted to the trunk, and the windows were tinted a light shade of magenta. Inside, only the top of a sideways hat was visible over the window sill, its bill tilted up as the driver strained to look at the dash. With all of the bouncing I couldn't tell whether he was looking at his 10" monster tach, Ipod, cell phone, video display, digital stereo readout or one of the 14 yellow faced guages in front of him. Possibly he was looking at his reflection in the chrome finish of the fire extinguisher bolted to the roll cage next to him. He hit third gear halfway across the intersection, and as I left him behind I took one final look in my rearview mirror at him. I could have never known what kind of fearsome machine he was driving if it hadn't been for the full width vinyl sticker on his windshield that read "PHAT HYUNDAI"........ :crossx: :devil: