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Thread: Typical Democratic thinking

  1. #1
    mickeyfinn
    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I donÂ’t know where I am!" The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "YouÂ’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.""I am," replied the man. "How did you guess?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and IÂ’m still lost. Frankly, youÂ’ve not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well" said the man, "You donÂ’t know where you are or where youÂ’re going. YouÂ’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. YouÂ’ve made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. YouÂ’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now itÂ’s MY fault."

  2. #2
    Forkin' Crazy
    LMAO!!!
    But ain't it the truth!!!

  3. #3
    mickeyfinn
    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Democrats too.
    Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
    There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.
    The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an Democrat."
    "Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
    "IÂ’m a proud Republican," boasts the little girl.
    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Republican. "Well, my mom and dad are Republicans, so IÂ’m a Republican too."
    The teacher is now angry. "ThatÂ’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
    A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "IÂ’d be an Democrat."

  4. #4
    Old Texan
    Classics indeed and true. :rollside:

  5. #5
    mickeyfinn
    How to Handle a Liberal College student who likes to protest warÂ…
    Peace Rally 101
    What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid Naive
    Hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why Force is sometimes needed:
    1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "Peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation".
    2) engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is appropriate.
    3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
    4) Wait until he says something to the effect of, "Because that would just
    cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
    5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
    6) When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake
    and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would, "be awful and he should not cause more violence."
    7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit additional violence.
    8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
    Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that
    sometimes it is necessary to fight back.

  6. #6
    SmokinLowriderSS
    How to Handle a Liberal College student who likes to protest warÂ…
    Peace Rally 101
    What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid Naive
    Hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why Force is sometimes needed:
    1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "Peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation".
    2) engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is appropriate.
    3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
    4) Wait until he says something to the effect of, "Because that would just
    cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
    5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
    6) When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake
    and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would, "be awful and he should not cause more violence."
    7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit additional violence.
    8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
    Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that
    sometimes it is necessary to fight back.
    EXACTLY .... as much as I wish it weren't so, sometimes it IS NECISARY TO FIGHT BACK!!!.

  7. #7
    Seadog
    It would not work as the wouse would call the police and his lawyer daddy would sue you. All he is going to learn is how to screw others. What you need to do, is kidnap him and demand money from his family. It won't teach him a lesson, but you have a better chance of getting away with that then fighting some rich kid in court.

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