E mail funnies................
Irish Viagra
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help
reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra.
Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me
in a week to let me know how things went".
A week later she called the doctor, who directly inquired about the
progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!
T'washorrid.
Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle
in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his
arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters
and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the
tabletop! it was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex your
husband provided wasn't good?"
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex
I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be
able to show me face in Starbucks again."
Texas Church Organist
There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted
organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had
to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to
mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and
said
"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a
thermon tewday"