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Thread: Anybody else got a fake wife?

  1. #1
    maxwedge
    Ok, so I have a little Hot Boat confession to make...I'M NOT MARRIED. I completely fukkin' made up my ***boat wife one day for some reason like a year ago during some random 3:00am post I can't even remember now. Possibly I was drunk. Probably I'm just a looser. Seemed like a little harmless fun, after all, nobody on here knows who the Fukk I am, and most of you live about 1500 miles away. Hell, I could tell you guys I'm the vice president of Blue Springs Chemical Toilet, and nobody would bat an eyelash until Tom Brown asked for the hook up on a new one.
    One little white lie is not going to make any difference on some online forum right... WRONG!...for some reason this little lie ballooned into secret life of Walter Mitty proportions.
    I innocently posted my imaginary wife into a few more posts. After all, posting up something like "My girlfriend and I went to the lake today..." Sounds pretty damn sleezy when you are supposed to be married right?...Can't do that now can we? And, posting something like, "My dog and I went boating by ourselves today sounds pretty looser-esque too, and maybe even a little Frenchie. Gonna loose major cool points for a post like that one Max...
    But if we simply insert the fake wife in palce of the girlfriend...problem solved. Couldn't be easier, could it? Appearnetly I'm a sucky liar, because I didn't realize the full extent of my fukk-up until it was too late. I found myself and my imaginary wife getting invited various gatherings (she was never able to make it). She went imaginary boating with me a few times. After all if I'm posting about a boating trip I took, and I have a wife, she should go, shouldn't she?
    I soon found myself in the relm of Tom Cruise, Section 8, placenta eating, fukking crazy... I'm just making shit up right and left about my imaginary Hot Boat wife. Yep, she even complained about stuff, my ***boat wife did. Especially if it added humor too the post. After all, nothing says funny like a bitchey wife? Who knows, she probably helped me with some projects. Hell, the BS got so deep I couldn't even keep up with it myself.
    I even took her with me on car trips, most noteably this weekend when I went to MI to visit my family (see Dilligaf's inlaw post). Yep, pathological liar that I have become, I just slipped her right into mom and dad's car with Sadie and I. One big happy family... 3 real people, a real dog, and...what the hell Max, just put in the imaginary wife too. A little harmless fun, who's ever going to know? Just practicing my creative writing skills right?
    Except for one little thing...
    I got busted by my real ex-girlfriend and some of her friends!
    Oops!
    Got this little e-mail from her today:
    "So I'm over at jake's with Dina and he reads ***boat.
    came across a post of yours .(a pic of sadie for your
    avatar is pretty unmistakable)...since when are you
    married?
    BTW, i've never read ***boat, that's funny shit...I
    understand now"...
    So...Just to clear this up, she is my ex GF as of about a month ago, so she is prossibly either thinking I got married in the last three weeks or that I was cheating on my wife with her the whole time we were dating. That would suck, because I don't really want her showing up here with a club or a gun or something and demanding to know why I never told her about my wife. That would be bad. I mean she knows I'm an asshole and all, but I'm not that much of one, but this is some funny shit though, huh?
    Did you sign up for this funny shit yet, Becky?
    And just what is it that you understand?
    Anyway, this thread ought to add some drama to the morning :hammer2:

  2. #2
    BigBlockBaja
    Wtf????

  3. #3
    Chubby4Life
    Doh! :hammerhea

  4. #4
    maxwedge
    Wtf????
    I have a bad feeling I will soon be in a world of shit, but what the hell, I'm bored...and I'm a pathological liar too. Maybe I made up the whole thing

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,593
    All I want to know is did the imaginary wife every find out about the imaginary girlfriend?

  7. #7
    maxwedge
    All I want to know is did the imaginary wife every find out about the imaginary girlfriend?
    My real ex-girlfriend will show up for work sometime tommorow morning. I sent her an e-mail. I'm thinking this may get funner sometime around 8:00 or 9:00am CST tommorow. Or possibly it could just get deleted before then :crossx:

  8. #8
    sanger rat
    Boy, You would fit right in with the BS'ers over here. :rollside: Badapplesracing.com

  9. #9
    fourspeednup
    My real ex-girlfriend will show up for work sometime tommorow morning. I sent her an e-mail. I'm thinking this may get funner sometime around 8:00 or 9:00am CST tommorow. Or possibly it could just get deleted before then :crossx:
    Trust me bro...don't let your ex chick on hot boat, no good will come of it :argue:

  10. #10
    BigBlockBaja
    Hey maxwedge, Did I tell ya your a FAG? :yuk: hehe

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