Comments from police car video

[Mattman]

--Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile
--Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document
--If you run you'll only go to jail tired
--So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket
--Yes sir you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think that will help. Oh..did I mention I am the shift supervisor?
--The answer to this question will determine if you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?
--You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo.
--Just how big were those two beers?
--No sir we don't have quotas anymore. Now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
--I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
--You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here!

[RitcheyRch]

Those are good

[SmokinLowriderSS]

Yep, funny stuff.
".... somebody who can post your bail."

[v-drive]

Yep! damn good

[driverno8]

Seen that before...still funny everytime I read it.