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Thread: "Saddam, Jacque, and Me" by The Bent One

  1. #1
    Old Texan
    Mind of a madman
    Saddam ... mind of a madman
    IRAQI tyrant Saddam Hussein has made a series of astonishing claims — giving a glimpse of his state of mind.
    The once-feared despot broke his silence in an interview with The Sun from his cell.
    In it he ranted how he:
    HOPED to flee by motorbike just minutes before he was nabbed by US combat forces.
    PRAISES cowardly French President Jacques Chirac as his “longtime friend”.
    BRANDED our sensational scoop pictures of him in his pants an insult to Iraqi people.
    Speaking through his lawyer, Saddam told how his escape plan was botched and claims he was gassed by American troops.
    He revealed: “I came out of the house where I was hiding by this hole. I went through the trap door. I went down the hole, through the tunnel then lost consciousness.”
    Hair we go ... 2003 capture
    Saddam hoped to emerge unnoticed in nearby bushes — before staging a Steve McQueen-type great escape riding a motorcycle.
    But he added: “I believe I was betrayed. I have been set up.”
    His lawyer Ramsey Clark, 78, a former US Attorney General, revealed: “Saddam thinks he was gassed in the tunnel. (Bent had a big Iraqi bean burrito the lunch and dropped bad fa rt while waiting)
    “He tried to get to the exit of the tunnel. But he did not have time to get away. He told us he spent maybe minutes in this tunnel — not hours or days.
    “When he started to get out there were soldiers around that area. There was supposed to be a motorcycle there. It was gone.
    “Saddam knew the person who owned the house wasn’t there. He knew he had been betrayed.” (Bent's cousin)
    In fact deluded SaddamÂ’s hiding place was a dirty rathole that led nowhere.
    The revelations shed new light on the astonishing operation which led to SaddamÂ’s capture on a farm near al-Dawr, near Tikrit in December 2003.
    The cowering despot was nabbed underground with two AK47s and ÂŁ420,000 by the US 4th Infantry DivisionÂ’s 1st Brigade Combat Team who acted on a tip-off.
    Saddam — currently on trial charged with killing 140 people in the Iraqi town of Dujail in 1982 — also heaped praise on his old friend President Jacques Chirac.
    Two-faced ... on our cover
    Spineless French leader Chirac was dubbed “Le Worm” in the run-up to the Iraq war after failing to back allied forces invading Iraq.
    Chirac’s cowardice has earned him the eternal gratitude of the Butcher of Baghdad. Saddam boasted from jail: “Chirac has been a longtime friend of mine.”
    Beast meets worm ... Saddam with 'friend'
    French leader Jacques Chirac in 1975
    Earlier this year the 68-year-old was humbled after The Sun published amazing photos of him wandering around in his underpants.
    News of our astonishing scoop was only broken later to Saddam by his lawyer.
    He ranted: “It’s an insult not to me but to the Iraqi people.” (Very Kerryesk)
    His lawyer Issam Gazyzwi added: “Saddam has not actually seen the pictures. He tried to take it philosophically.” The pictures of Saddam in his underpants sparked a global sensation. His lawyers even threatened to sue us.
    They later backed down after we threatened to retaliate with our own legal action.
    Briefs encounter ... our picture puts Saddam on skids
    The fascinating insights into the despotÂ’s mind have emerged from conversations between Saddam and his legal team.
    His defence is now being masterminded by a team of lawyers aiding former US attorney Mr Clark. They include, Nacib Naimi, Issam Gazyzwi and Iraqi attorney Khalil al Dulaimi. (DNC lackies no doubt)
    SaddamÂ’s lawyers use a video link to speak to him as he languishes in a jail cell inside the courthouse during his trial.
    Bizarrely, his legal team address Saddam as “Mr President” — despite the fact he tortured, gassed and butchered an estimated 300,000 of his own people during a 24-year reign of terror.
    Saddam still remains defiant about his trial which could see him face the death sentence. He gloated: “I don’t mind being killed. There will always be another Saddam.”
    Mr Clark added: “Before Saddam’s capture he was moving every day to a different location, organising the insurgents. (Hiding like a rat is more to the point)
    "But every few days he came back to this escape area. Now he knows it was a mistake. Probably American soldiers did not discover the hole. They were told about it.” (Sure no Iraqi would ever snitch on the great Saddam )
    One member of SaddamÂ’s legal team, who refused to be named, revealed that the humbled dictator remains gripped by world affairs despite facing the gallows. (Bent's posts on HB, no doubt)
    The lawyer said: “The first meetings with him were more social.
    “It was hard to get to business because Saddam wanted to catch up. What has happened to his world since he was captured? (Where is my friend Bent 472?)
    “I wanted to catch up with him and his current state of mind.”
    Saddam is not paying his legal team during the trial. (typical Liberal)
    Mr Clark said: “Saddam doesn’t have any money and even if he had, I wouldn’t accept it.” (Damn Bush tax cuts eliminated the oil for money for Saddam program)
    A BRITISH plastic surgeon has been teaching Iraqi medics how to reconstruct ears — to help restore more than 1,300 lost in acts of punishment by Saddam’s regime.
    Three surgeons have visited London to learn specialist David GaultÂ’s technique of using rib cartilage to build new ears.
    It is estimated around 350 ears were removed in Basra and more than 1,000 in Baghdad, as punishment for people who defected from, or refused military service.
    As I have it on good intel, Bent was seen high tailing across the desert on the motorcycle.

  2. #2
    Steve 1
    Good Post ROFLMAO!

  3. #3
    Steve 1

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