Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse
Mom's at the Whorehouse
And Dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down
For a nice piece of Ass
When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn
I saw a big Dick
I knew in a moment
It must be Saint Nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of Hell
I knew in a moment
The focker had fell
He filled All our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a Big rubber Dick
for my brother the Queer
He rose up the chimney
With a Thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the Chimney apart
He swore and He cursed
As he rode out of sight
" Piss On You All
And Have A Hell Of A Night "