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Thread: Need Some Advice!!!!!

  1. #1
    barbigrl
    So I called my dad yesterday to check in because I have not talked to him in about a week. He proceeds to tell me that he had major surgery last week and has been layed up. I say WTF? He went in for routine hernia (sp?) surgery last tuesday, it was routine so he did not feel the need to tell me. He is very private, even with me. Well, after going in the Dr's discovered it was a lot worse then anticipated and had to go beyond into other organs. He was in the hospital for a few days. I am f*cking irate that my step-mother did not feel the need to call me and let me know. Is my father going to die and I am going to get an invitation in the mail to his funeral? How do I handle this? I want to let her know how I feel however I do not want to alienate her even more. I see my dad all year, I only see her about once a year....yeah she wins Step-mother of the year award for sure! They live 20 mintes from me.

  2. #2
    ***boateditor
    So I called my dad yesterday to check in because I have not talked to him in about a week. He proceeds to tell me that he had major surgery last week and has been layed up. I say WTF? He went in for routine hernia (sp?) surgery last tuesday, it was routine so he did not feel the need to tell me. He is very private, even with me. Well, after going in the Dr's discovered it was a lot worse then anticipated and had to go beyond into other organs. He was in the hospital for a few days. I am f*cking irate that my step-mother did not feel the need to call me and let me know. Is my father going to die and I am going to get an invitation in the mail to his funeral? How do I handle this? I want to let her know how I feel however I do not want to alienate her even more. I see my dad all year, I only see her about once a year....yeah she wins Step-mother of the year award for sure! They live 20 mintes from me.
    "Dad, I know you cherish your privacy, but I worry about you. I wish you would let me know about these things. At least please have your wife give me a call if you get sick. I love you so much, Dad. I know that if something were wrong with me, you'd want me to call you."

  3. #3
    Mrs. Bordsmnj
    Tell her that you were very upset and that you would appreciate it if she would keep you informed of these types of things. Explain that you love your dad as much as she does.
    Or just make her ex-lax brownies. :rollside:

  4. #4
    LAFD
    just be up front with your dad and tell him how you feel.

  5. #5
    JetBoatRich
    she needs to know what she did was wrong

  6. #6
    barbigrl
    just be up front with your dad and tell him how you feel.
    I did tell him this....its like talking to a wall. She wears the pants! He would not say anything to her! :yuk:

  7. #7
    IMPATIENT 1
    As A Father Of A Young 9yr Old Princess I Think I Can Help Here.your Father Doesn't Want To Worry You Or Give You The Added Stress Of Wondering If The Surgery Will Go Fine And Such.my Princess Worries About "little Stuff" While My Twins Boys Let Everything Slide. But You Do Have A Point @ Wanting To Know If His Life Is In Danger.your Dad Is Protecting You From His Stress And Worries.hope He's Fine,good Luck

  8. #8
    JMC
    Dads are like that. Im pushing 40 and my Dad (almost 60) pulled the same stunt a couple of years ago, even the same procedure... he had a Hernia as well. They found out he was borderline Diabetic and kept him for 3 days. I got a call from his girlfriend AFTER they released him and I wasn't too happy about it either. I think its just part of being a dad....you know, they dont want to bother anyone and they sure dont want their daughter or son to worry about them while they are there. Above all I think all men hate being in the hospital and for a big crew to show up to remind you that you are weak, sick, etc. usually doesnt help much..unless of course its a serious matter.

  9. #9
    MagicMtnDan
    I suspect you won't be able to change either one of them. Based on the little info we can use to speculate, I'd say that (a) your Dad is a very private person and you won't be able to change him and (b) your step-Mom is probably respecting your very private Father's wishes and not communicating the information to you. Be careful about attacking her (criticizing her), she's probably very loyal (and loving) to your Dad and only doing what he's asked her to do (what more could you ask from your Dad's wife?).
    Just keep telling your Dad that you love him and wish he'd tell you important stuff when he knows it not after the fact.
    PS: why do you and others think it's a good thing to air personal stuff like this in a very public Internet forum? I'm NOT criticizing you but I do wonder why people think it's a good thing?

  10. #10
    Mrs. Bordsmnj
    PS: why do you and others think it's a good thing to air personal stuff like this in a very public Internet forum? I'm NOT criticizing you but I do wonder why people think it's a good thing?
    Melissa has a lot of friends on here and I am sure she is comfortable asking for others' opinions.
    I know this is a public internet forum but there are alot of people on here who are genuinely good friends, and not just internet friends.
    :rollside:

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