Thank you all for your advice I do appreciate it!
Biglue I think you are right, she obviously has a lack of disrespect for my brother and I for not telling us. It does go a lot deeper then her just respecting my dad's wishes on being private, she wishes he did not have "other" kids. Nice as pie to my face....probably because she only has to see us on Christmas. This whole situation with my dad and her has bothered me for years, I get teary eyed when I think about how f*cked up my relationship with my family is.
Mainevent your right though...I need to make more of an effort then just a call a week. I guess I just have learned to accept it, but I shouldn't.