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Thread: Headlines from the year 2034

  1. #1
    Flashover
    This just got E-mailed to me. It's pretty funny..
    Headlines from the year 2034
    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
    Baby conceived naturally . Scientists stumped.
    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in Bushra; the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
    Castro finally dies at age 115; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

  2. #2
    ROZ
    I just showed that to my psychic. She says it's dead on

  3. #3
    termiteguy
    true :cry: :cry: :cry:

  4. #4
    Cole
    That is some funny chit!!!!
    Probably true but funny!!!!

  5. #5
    RAZORSHARP
    forgot the headline about the db level for boats lowered to 12!

  6. #6
    mickeyfinn
    Sounds like it is all reasonable except I don't think the Japanese will ever develop a camera that fast!!

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