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Thread: For Women

  1. #1
    MRS FLYIN VEE
    > One for the ladies
    > One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
    >
    > shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
    > me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
    >
    > "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    >
    > He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
    >
    > And they say blondes are dumb...
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
    >
    > "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
    >
    > The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
    > of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
    > I mowed the lawn like this?"
    >
    > "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied..
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    >
    > A: A rumor
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
    > wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
    > and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
    > could have one wish.
    >
    > The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
    >
    > Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
    >
    > The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
    >
    > Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
    >
    > Gotta love that fairy!
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Dear Lord,
    >
    > I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
    > Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
    > beat him to death.
    >
    > AMEN
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    > --------------------- -
    >
    > Q: Why do little boys whine?
    >
    > A: They are practicing to be men.
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    >
    > A: Trustworthy.
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
    > calling your name?
    >
    > A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    >
    > A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    >
    > A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
    >

  2. #2
    Ziggy
    The "whine" one was certainly meant for woman training...
    No?

  3. #3
    MRS FLYIN VEE
    The "whine" one was certainly meant for woman training...
    No?
    lol!!..

  4. #4
    Devil's Advocate
    I like the second one and the Dear Lord one.
    Hey Vee, where's my shirt?

  5. #5
    acatitude
    haters lol

  6. #6
    photo chick
    Yeah Ms Vee where's my shirt! I've been checking the mail daily and nothing but bills bills bills...
    Second one is my favorite!

  7. #7
    MRS FLYIN VEE
    I like the second one and the Dear Lord one.
    Hey Vee, where's my shirt?
    Honestly I totally forgot.. I have them really.. I am going to send it in the a.m promise.. If not i will post pics of myself so they can be photochopped.:sqeyes:

  8. #8
    MRS FLYIN VEE
    Yeah Ms Vee where's my shirt! I've been checking the mail daily and nothing but bills bills bills...
    Second one is my favorite!
    am sending it in the a.m.. Promise.. refer to my previous post.

  9. #9
    Devil's Advocate
    Honestly I totally forgot.. I have them really.. I am going to send it in the a.m promise.. If not i will post pics of myself so they can be photochopped.:sqeyes:
    You don't want to get punished like that.

  10. #10
    MRS FLYIN VEE
    You don't want to get punished like that.
    I know but it will make me send them asap..:jawdrop:

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