Condom question

[SmokinLowriderSS]

Senior Airman Radford tells this soooo much better, but I will do my best.
SrA Radford is a formert Marine, now a Security Forces troop in my Air Natl. Guard unit.
Pvt Radford was in boot camp, in morning formation, when, as always, the question was asked by the DI "Does anyone have any ailments that need attended to?"
Another Pvt (unnamed, we'll use "Jones" here), raises his hand and talls the DI that he needs to go to sick call.
The DI of course inquires as to why.
Pvt Jones: "It burns when the pvt urinates sir."
DI:"You dumb SOB. You just went out on a weekend pass to, didn't you?"
Pvt Jones: "Yes Sgt."
DI: " You were briefed to wear a condom if you had sex, weren't you Pvt Jones?"
Pvt Jones: "The Pvt DID Sgt. The Pvt swears he wore a Condom."
(Note here, there is no speaking of "I" allowed by the trainees).
DI: "Alright, get on over there.
Sure enough, tests confirm a case of Ghonnorhea, which prompts ANOTHER "discussion" as to just exactly HOW he came to get the clap.
The following morning, at formation, in front of the platoon:
DI: "So Pvt., just exactly HOW did you manage to get the clap while using a condom?"
Another note here, Pvt Jones was nearly inseparable from his "Ranger-buddy" (sorry, Army term), another unnamed Pvt we shall refer to as "Smith". Pvt Smith had no disease.
Pvt Jones: " Pvt Smith & I went out on town pass, and did get a hooker. He went first, and I did her afterwards. I just don't understand how I got it and he didn't. I even used the same condom."
DI: "You used THE SAME CONDOM?!?!"
Pvt Jones: "Yes Sgt. But I didn't want to get his stuff on me, so I turned it inside out and used it to do her."
I first asked him, absolutely CERTAIN he invented this. He SWEARS it was true. He was in both those morning formations. I believe him.

[SmokinLowriderSS]

Same Amn Radford, who was again, witness to it.
Same Marine corps Boot Camp.
Same drill instructor.
Same morning formation, same question.
The difference, only 3 weeks into boot-camp, and NOBODY has left the base, for 3 weeks. No passes, no nothing.
A DIFFERENT Pvt "Carter" this time (un-named).
"It burns when the pvt urinates sir."
DI: "What?!?! Has someone been f****ng you up the @$$"? You haven't been anywhere to catch the clap! Which one of you has been f****ng Pvt Carter up the @$$?"
The DI goes to EACH Pvt, individually, 1 at a time, face to fac ef, and asks them directly: "Have YOU been f****ng Pvt Carter in the @$$?!?!?!!! Did YOU give him the clap?!?!?!?!!!"
(I can see it in my mind's eye, vivid as a sunrise.) hilarious.
Every Pvt denies it.
The DI then addresses the Pvt again. "Just how is it you have gotten the clap Pvt Carter, since NO-ONE here has given it to you?!?"
The Pvt then admits to the following:
He last had sex the night before boot camp.
That night paid for a hooker.
That night failed to use a condom.
Has been trying to "deal with it" for 3 weeks now, but it just burns too bad now, so is only just now bringing it up.
3 frigging WEEKS!!! LMFAO!!!!!
Amn Radford (Soon to be SSgt. Radford) also swears he was NOT any of the Pvts in the stories.