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Thread: Chickenhauler, a few words.....

  1. #1
    Members here generally have strong views about Chickenhauler. To get immediately to the point, if you want to hide something from Chickenhauler, you just have to put it in a book. In a previous post, I announced my intention to comment on his schemes. Naturally, this announcement caused Chickenhauler to mutter abuses befitting his education. Incidents like that truly demonstrate how his trucklers claim to have no choice but to turn the social order upside-down so that the dregs on the bottom become the scum on the top. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, spleeny sideshow barkers. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand.
    Chickenhauler's modes of thought may not be traditional for a licentious bum, but Chickenhauler likes to brag about how the members of his Pyrrhonism movement are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Hitler. In any case, Chickenhauler doesn't want us to know about his plans to blacklist his enemies as terrorist sympathizers or traitors. Otherwise, we might do something about that. Be careful not to be charmed by his demands. All they do is put increased disruptive powers in the hands of the most baleful paranoiacs you'll ever see. I respect Chickenhauler's solutions, although I want to see all of us working together to instill a sense of responsibility and maturity in those who tour the country promoting snippy frotteurism in lectures and radio talk show interviews. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that you might have heard the story that Chickenhauler once agreed to help us fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. No one has located the document in which Chickenhauler said that. No one has identified when or where Chickenhauler said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, there isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that without Chickenhauler's superior guidance, we will go nowhere, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Chickenhauler's from the get-go.
    What that means, simply put, is that it's possible that Chickenhauler doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of defeatism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we stand up and fight for our heritage, traditions, and values. It has been said that he serves up his simple-minded form of elitism as intellectual fast food for his wicked fans. That makes sense to me. I believe it's true. But it sincerely implies that he occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being stinking moochers. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which he habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that he is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand, while the other hand is busy trying to reap a harvest of death.
    It has been proven time and time again that Chickenhauler likes to cause people to betray one another and hate one another. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Chickenhauler and his foot soldiers will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must fight the warped, distorted, misshapen, unwholesome monstrosity that Chickenhauler's statements have become. You may be shocked to hear this, but the poisonous wine of narcissism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. Chickenhauler is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. While he might not produce nothing but filth per se, Chickenhauler has remarked that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand, I'll spell it out for you. For starters, I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I believe that there is, because Chickenhauler's argument that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately subversive is hopelessly flawed and totally circuitous.
    Wherever you look, you'll see Chickenhauler enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see him suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see him crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity. Do we not, as rational men and women, owe it to both our heritage and our posterity to respond to his hatchet jobs? I, for one, think we do. His methods of interpretation are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of separatism. I don't mean to condemn anyone's beliefs, but given the amount of misinformation that Chickenhauler is circulating, I must clearly point out that my goal is to shield people from his immoral and soulless deceptions. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I indeed do have to try. Some day, I want to increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. But you don't have to wait for that. What you can do now is talk to everyone you know about the things I've told you in this letter. Use every medium available to you. Use the Internet. Use your telephone. Use radio and newspapers. And whatever you do, never be afraid to speak out against the evil that is Chickenhauler.

  2. #2
    Phat Matt
    I couldn't have said it better myself.

  3. #3
    That's what Im talkin about...

  4. #4
    Over the past few weeks, I've learned to look past ChickenHauler's conniving endeavors. I've learned to look past some of the disaffected things ChickenHauler has said. I've even learned to look past his attempts to engender ill will. But I cannot stay silent about ChickenHauler's incomprehensible and unforgivable audacity regarding a specific event that recently occurred. Let me get to the crux of the matter: ChickenHauler is almost unique among poxy cads in that he openly espouses an irritating view of reality and a defense of unrestrained, oleaginous hooliganism. That's something you won't find in your local newspaper because it's the news that just doesn't fit. I won't pull any punches here: Some reputed -- as opposed to reputable -- members of his flock quite adamantly aver that ChickenHauler's activities are on the up-and-up. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could suspect such a thing, but then again, ChickenHauler holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who renege on an incredibly large number of promises.
    Someone has to be willing to expose ChickenHauler's ideologies for what they really are. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that anyone who resists ChickenHauler deserves to be crushed. At any rate, I've tried explaining to his spin doctors that his outrage at complaints about him is indicative of his self-esteem and value system. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that ChickenHauler has announced his intentions to adopt approaches that have not been tested to try to solve problems that have not been well-defined. While doing so may earn ChickenHauler a gold star from the mush-for-brains nonrepresentationalism crowd, were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with ChickenHauler to help him destabilize the already volatile social fabric that he purportedly aims to save. Time cannot change ChickenHauler's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which ChickenHauler can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, shackle us with the chains of Fabianism.
    To state it in a more sophisticated manner, I want to make this clear, so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point. All in all, our battle with ChickenHauler is a battle between spiritualism and boosterism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that the spectrum of views between deconstructionism and absenteeism is not a line but a circle at which mean-spirited lackwits and splenetic scumbags meet. To properly place ChickenHauler somewhere in that spectrum, one needs to realize that the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how spineless and eccentric ChickenHauler has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how if his apostles had even an ounce of integrity, they would provide some balance to ChickenHauler's one-sided proposed social programs. We should not concern ourselves with ChickenHauler's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that ChickenHauler and I disagree about our civic duties. I think that we must do our utmost to debunk the nonsense spouted by his drones as expeditiously as possible. ChickenHauler, on the other hand, believes that he can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct. He yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for ChickenHauler, "attract attention" usually implies "wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely unprepared and unrecognizing public".
    ChickenHauler claims that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids. Sound suspicious? Dour is a better word. He wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that ChickenHauler is the way, the truth, and the light. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but the biggest difference between me and ChickenHauler is that ChickenHauler wants to make us dependent on stupid, postmodernist tricksters for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval. I, on the other hand, want to address the real issues faced by mankind. At the risk of sounding hopelessly treasonous, while we do nothing, those who pass off all sorts of vicious and obviously raucous stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience" are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we search for solutions that are more creative and constructive than the typically smarmy ones championed by testy muttonheads (especially the coldhearted type).
    We cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must call a spade a spade. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that if it were up to ChickenHauler, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. This brings us to the dark underside of his précis, the side that's known to peddle the snake oil of wretched extremism. It's fine to realize that ChickenHauler publicly disavows his ties to libertinism while secretly encouraging his confreres to twist the history, sociology, and anthropology disseminated by our mass media and in our children's textbooks, but it's more important to know that I'm at loggerheads with him on at least one important issue. Namely, ChickenHauler argues that his vices are the only true virtues. I take the opposite position, that I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness -- not in a dark, delusional world run by irritable fence-sitters. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that he coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his accusations sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary. ChickenHauler claims that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. Well, I beg to differ. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly ChickenHauler himself or one of his co-conspirators, will write an insincere piece about how utterly sophomoric I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.

  5. #5
    Chicken Boy is out of his league.
    Some very well written folks here.

  6. #6
    Chicken Boy is out of his league.
    Some very well written folks here.
    .....And they type gotta like that
    Chickenlickin probably has a headache now...

  7. #7
    Ha, hah, you said "Fabianism."

  8. #8
    Suck my "cock"

  9. #9
    Suck my "cock"
    I wish I didn't have to write a letter like this one, but recent events leave me no choice. It may help if I begin my discussion by relating an innocuous story in order to illustrate my point: A few days ago I was arguing with a particularly childish practitioner of gangsterism who was insisting that Mrs. ChickenHauler can scare us by using big words like "thyroparathyroidectomize". I tried to convince this snappish, feckless misfit that if Mrs. ChickenHauler's adherents had even an ounce of integrity, they would build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. The problem with him is not that he's unambitious. It's that he wants to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. Before explaining why self-serving election-year also-rans cause insurmountable trouble for us, I must first give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. Mrs. ChickenHauler divides the organization of his capricious ploys into two halves that, apparently separate from one another, in truth, form an inseparable whole. The first half seeks to tap into the national resurgence of overt authoritarianism, while the second half is yet another delusional blend of peevish solipsism and primitive hooliganism.
    When I'm through with Mrs. ChickenHauler, he'll think twice before attempting to lead to the destruction of the human race. His secret passion is to assuage the hungers of his trucklers with servings of fresh scapegoats. For shame! If I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less picayunish than Mrs. ChickenHauler. I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Mrs. ChickenHauler is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to turn us into easy prey for vulgar, hectoring sods. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but several things he has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how character development is not a matter of "strength through adversity" but rather, "entitlement through victimization". Mrs. ChickenHauler is still going around insisting that anyone who dares to take the initiative to lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he pompously claims that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. People have pointed out to me that impertinent, insidious anarchists represent one of the most illaudable wings of pathetic exclusionism you can possibly find, but I still can't help but think that I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I only wish that he had the same intellectual honesty. To summarize my views: Mrs. ChickenHauler's half-measures are characterized by a preachy arrogance unbefitting to someone who knows so little.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Suck my "cock"
    You sure told them

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