Several years ago, a co-worker buddy and I went to Calgary for a one day seminar. Back then, Air Canada featured the de Havilland Dash-8 aircraft on this particular route. Flying time was 1.75 hours.
My flying companion was an Asian man, mild mannered and kind hearted but not a particularly good flyer.
One of the key reasons we went to the seminar is because it was in downtown Calgary. I love chinatown in Calgary... just off downtown. Gain does as well.
Arriving in town early in the workday, we had the cab drop us in chinatown at roughly 8:30am. We found a restaurant featuring 'Dragon' in the name and ordered shanghai noodles and some supporting dishes. It was delicious.
At lunch, we went to a different restaurant, also featuring the word 'Dragon' on the marquee. We packed down dim-sum like RiverDave packing down beer. Passing full, we went right on through mild discomfort and eased ourselves into sharp abdominal pain.
We tried to walk the several blocks back but there was no way. Lucky to make it to the curb in our condition, we hailed a cab. We were a little late returning to the seminar from lunch. The speaker had already started and there couldn't have been more than a couple of dozen cookies left. Most of the Coke was gone from the ice bucket too. Ever resourceful, we made do.
Our return flight was at 7pm so we didn't have a lot of time for food after the seminar ended at 4:30. For that reason, we left at 3:45 and took a cab back to chinatown.
Restaurant selection was pretty much obvious. We had already been to the Silver Dragon and Golden Dragon so we went to the Red Dragon. It was the trifecta of culinary excewence.
I ordered the Peking duck and a half dozen side dishes. I don't remember what Gain ordered. I just recall having to force it down. Every fork full of food was hard work. I chewed and chewed. It was tough getting my throat to swallow. Somehow we got most of it down but we didn't vacuum the plates like earlier in the day.
There were signs at the airport suggesting passengers arrive one hour early for domestic flights. We got there about 15 minutes prior to departure. It was fine. No lineup or waiting. We walked right onto the plane.
Sitting in the plane, we felt like satiated bears ready for hibernation. We turned off the reading lights and fully opened the air vents. We were finished.
The Dash-8 is a propeller driven airplane with a high wing. The engines hang down from the wing and there was a nacell about 8 feet outside our window, blocking most of the view.
Everything was going as well as could be expected, which really wasn't all that well, until we hit some turbulence about 10 minutes into the flight. The captain announced the turbulence was unavoidable and looked like it was going to be there for most of the trip. To help us out, he turned on the 'fasten seatbelt' sign. That was back in the days when you could take your seatbelt off for most of the flight.
A few minutes after the turbulence started, I noticed Gain hadn't said anything for quite some time. I looked over and he was as white as I am. When I asked if he was OK, he raised his hand to present the international 'talk to the hand' symbol. He wasn't well.
When the attendant came rolling by with a refreshment cart, I requested a couple of tomato juice. Two cans were presented. I offered one to Gain, thinking it would calm his stomach.
The juice had a bit of a bite to it. Looking closer at the can, it was Mott's extra spicy clam. Probably not the best idea for us to drink. We chugged them down.
The turbulence kept worsening. At one point, you could see the engine nacell flailing up and down outside the window. The drone of the engines was warbling as the airframe flexed and bowed. By now, Gain was holding an airsickness bag.
Somehow, Gain managed the entire flight without puking. I have no idea how he made it. Fortunately, we caught a strong tailwind.
It was a day trip so we had no luggage. We de-planed and hit the sidewalk by the arrival gate to find Gain's wife waiting for us. We hopped into his van and his wife drove me home.
I've never been so happy to get home. When I unclenched my ass, light colored dragon gravy sprayed out. It was plenty hot. I wiped myself up as best I could and laid down. Somehow, I made it through the day.
I'm used to taking these trips pretty lightly. Sometimes they're a complete waste of time. This was the most informative seminar I've ever attended. The speaker was massively knowledgable. Another time, I would have wanted to stay after the session and have a conversation with him. Sometimes, however, it's just not meant to be.
When I unclenched my ass, light colored dragon gravy sprayed out. It was plenty hot. I wiped myself up as best I could and laid down. Somehow, I made it through the day.
Let's see Thumper talk, OSO ...or any of em top the quality posting we have right here..
It's no contest.
I did a search for colostomy over that Thumpers...and zippo.
Lets guess...your were "dragon" your ass on the carpet for a week after that
Tom;
It is times like this that I am simply amazed that some literary agent hasn't stumbled across your delightful prose here on Hot Boat, and immediately seen in you an incredible talent, just waiting to be transformed into a multiple New York Times Bestselling author.
It simply isn't fair to the rest of the world that your deeply moving (pun intended) wordsmithing is denied to a population starving for gifted, insightful authors who know how to reach out and touch the innermost workings of the human mind.
You're an artist, the world is your canvas, and we await your next masterpiece.
Bravo.
Holy cow, FBT. Do you need a date, or something?
Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm just a guy who likes to write... and shit.
Holy cow, FBT. Do you need a date, or something?
Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm just a guy who likes to write... and shit.
LMAO, well his wife wasssssss gone for awhile
That wasn't fair, T.
No date necessary Tom, just pointing out the obvious, ...and shit.
That wasn't fair, T.
LOL I'm fraid too, am I in trouble?
hey,
you never said what the semi was on?
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