Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: New Rhymes For The Future OJ Trial-->From Maxim

  1. #1
    HocusPocus
    With Juice caught trying to allegedly steal memorabilia from an alleged Vegas hotel room at alleged gunpoint, he'll need a pithy "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit"–style defense to get off the hook again. Any of these will do.
    http://embed.maxim.com/5001-5500/526...es_article.jpg
    "If the items are mine, then what is the crime?"
    "If the jersey says 'Juice,' the sentence must be reduced."
    "If I can get off for murder, this trial should go no further."
    "If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches."
    "If the jersey doesn't fit, I've just gotten too fat for it."
    "If I'm forced to pay millions for another attorney, someone's leaving here on a gurney."
    "If the footballs bore my name, then I can't be to blame."
    "If you take my memorabilia, I might just have to killia."
    "If you aren't this autograph's rightful owner, I've got another pair of Isotoners."
    "If you make a movie about Fred Goldman, he should be played by Gary Oldman."
    "If the trophy says "Simpson," you'll get a double dose of this pimpin'."
    "If you wanted a souvenir, you should've asked for the body I threw off the pier."
    "If you can overlook it, I'll write a book called If I Took It."
    "If you stole tube socks from my vault, I can't be guilty of assault."
    "If the judge forgets I won a Heisman, I'm going to give his legs a Theisman."
    "If you think I'm capable of kidnapping, then you're in for a whole lot of bitch slapping."
    "If I threatened that collector, I'll renounce my job as bikini inspector."
    "If I was part of that armed raid, you know someone would've ended up slayed."

  2. #2
    DeltaSigBoater
    With Juice caught trying to allegedly steal memorabilia from an alleged Vegas hotel room at alleged gunpoint, he'll need a pithy "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit"–style defense to get off the hook again. Any of these will do.
    http://embed.maxim.com/5001-5500/526...es_article.jpg
    LMFAO

  3. #3
    RitcheyRch
    Those are good.

Similar Threads

  1. Last Months Maxim
    By Waist Deep in forum Sandbar
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-29-2007, 06:54 AM
  2. Chery [ rhymes with Chevy ] from China
    By spectras only in forum Sandbar
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-05-2007, 06:10 PM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-08-2006, 11:55 PM
  4. Maxim Mag Party (Hollywood)
    By UnionJack in forum Sandbar
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-06-2005, 10:30 AM
  5. Busta Rhymes Video
    By KACHINA KEN in forum Sandbar
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-22-2004, 07:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •