Reply With QuoteOh my goodness
Grandma's Boyfriend A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one
day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he
looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now
that Grandpa went to heaven? 'Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my
boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The
religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm
happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'Grandma turned on the TV, and the
reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get
the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of
the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell
ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?' The little boy
replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'The minister
fainted.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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