Dog Diary vs Cat Diary

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DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
This morning? I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird hasgot to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.
For now...
Cat

[That Guy]

Lmao.....:d :d

[Ziggy]

Good one EvilAli
Sounds just like a marraige
.
.
reminds me of the cartoon "Get Fuzzy"...that one makes me LOL most days.

[DesertGirl]

Very cute lol!

[thatguy]

I saw this last year and saved it, still funny know matter how many times I read it!!
Tommy

[topless]

I saw this last year and saved it, still funny know matter how many times I read it!!
TommyI got it a couple years ago too. I forgot about it until it was emailed to me today......still makes me laugh.

[hkunz]

And soooo true

[Dave C]

I knew it... everyone said I was crazy but I knew that the cat was given me one of those...."go f uck yourself" looks :devil:

[Mrs.Racer277]

LMAO
That is exactly what my cats think.

[raff]

Now I know why my cat is always at my feet:sqeyes: