Euthansia/Assisted suicide: Have you faced it for a loved 1 ?

[Trailer Park Casanova]

There was a knock at the door a short while back, it was a relative from Europe.
Yeah,, he negotiated the US transit systems and made it to our house.
A awesome, teriffic guy. Fun and full of life.
He found a quack Doctor in Hollywood that would amputate his arthritic fingers.
The Doctors back in the UK all refused.
He drove pre-WW2 London Busses and WW2 Tanks in Africa with no power steering or syncro trannys and his fingers were shot,, the pain intense. I mean real brutal agony that morphine won't help pain.
So I drove him out for the proceedure, and he was happy he did it for the remaining 5 years of his life.
The pain was that bad.
Now,, another old relative is counting on us to help him die.
It's a tough situation, but his Parkisons and quality of life really sux.
He's a real drain on his kids, he's miserable and un-happy.
But,, what a cool character, A kinda person that would have never changed places with anyone,,, but he's through with life.
So were examining the LEGAL options.
Oregon it's legal,, but difficult.
Anyone else deal with this?

[new2cats]

There was a knock at the door a short while back, it was a relaitive from Europe.
Yeah,, he negotiated the US transit systems and made it to our house.
A awesome, teriffic guy. Fun and full of life.
He found a quack Doctor in Hollywood that would amputate his arthritic fingers.
The Doctors back in the UK all refused.
He drove pre-WW2 London Busses and WW2 Tanks in Africa with no power steering or syncro trannys and his fingers were shot,, the pain intense. I mean real brutal agony that morphine won't help pain.
So I drove him out for the proceedure, and he was happy he did it for the remaining 5 years of his life.
The pain was that bad.
Now,, another old relative is counting on us to help him die.
It's a tough situation, but his Parkisons and quality of life really sux.
He's a real drain on his kids, he's miserable and un-happy.
But,, what a cool character, A kinda person that would have never changed places with anyone,,, but he's through with life.
So were examining the LEGAL options.
Oregon it's legal,, but difficult.
Anyone else deal with this?
Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!

[new2cats]

That was hard to read New2Cats. Sorry to hear about your loss.
Thanks...sorry it was so long...still fresh in the memory banks and I miss my Mom tremendously, especially at X-mas...they always stayed with us for a few weeks and we had a killer time. I shut down the biz for them each year and just sat at home cooking and getting fat with Mom & Pop.....worse yet, my stepfather(one of my favorite guys on the planet) went nuts from post traumatic stress disorder related to the rapid death of his beloved wife...he is in care for dimentia at 60 years old and has bad short term memory loss....just 4 years ago, this guy was lead engine builder at Rockwell/Boeing on the shuttle program...sh*t man..my F-in eyes are wellin' up.....losing loved ones really sucks!!!!
Well, back to the normal M-Fing everyone and talking trash, huh

[RitcheyRch]

Sad to read this thread. I could never imagine being put in that situation and wouldnt know how to react if was asked.

[ULTRA26 # 1]

Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!
Sorry you had to experience this with your Mom at such a young age. Hospice can be very helpful at the end and morphine will help do the trick. My best friend was losing his Mom to cancer of the brain and he helped move it along with liquid morphine used as eye drops. While it can be difficult to assist, sometimes it is the right thing to do.

[fat rat]

I lost my Mom to a very slow death................she ended up in a halo where she died at 55............you never really get over it. I do miss her still 20 years later.

[Trailer Park Casanova]

I agree, ya never get over the loss of your Mom.
I still catch myself reaching for the phone to call her.

[Tremor Therapy]

TPC,
I hope I never get that call again. My dad was a 3 pack a day smoker, and he worked at Camp Pendleton as a boiler tender for 30 years....asbestos was everywhere back then. Well he developed prostate cancer, and they had to remove his prostate. Well on his 3 or 4 year check up they found he had developed serious lung cancer. Well he underwent the chemo for that, and he was actually in remission when they discovered a tumor on his brain stem. They discontinued chemo, and started radiation for the brain tumor. Fast forward 6 months, and his lung cancer is back, and he is too weak to fight it.
My dad was always larger than life to me at 6-5 and probably 325 lbs. his entire life, he really reminded me of what Paul Bunyan must have looked like. Well he was having a very difficult day breathing, and my mom called me home to help her take him to the hospital. So I went to his room, and picked him up and carried him to their car. All 6-5 of him at around 150 lbs.
When I left the hospital, I talked with the Oncologist, and we left with enough morphine to keep him comfortable, and we did until he passed. Now I have made the same promises to my mom, but I just don't know if I could go through this again.

[kap]

Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!
______________________________
New2cats:
Thank you for sharing such an emotional and personal story of people at their best and providing valuable insight into what we call "HOPE".
In the sadness and loss you describe their is a positive message we call HOPE. During this holiday season and time of year it is important to reflect on the theme.
You described it perfectly----- some institutions will help you and be angels sent by God to do his work in human form.
Respectfully,
KAP
P.S. It helped me too .

[new2cats]

I agree, ya never get over the loss of your Mom.
I still catch myself reaching for the phone to call her.
Ditto, I still think...hey I gotta call Mom and tell her......then reality kicks in. Funny, I do not live with regret but I blew her off the phone and avoided stopping by her house for lunch (when she lived close) more times then I care to recall!!! What I would give for one more quiet lunch with her over a bowl of her oxtail soup....for all you folks with Moms and Dads still kickin', bite the bullet and make time for them...trust me, you will appreciate it later!
OH, by the way...thanks for all the kind thoughts...makes it worth typing so many words