Reply With Quoteok, chili is not suposed to come outa my nose when i laugh! good one.
I don't know if this is a repost, but it was sent to me today.
The Point System
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".....-100
Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "Well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!
ok, chili is not suposed to come outa my nose when i laugh! good one.
For now I just glanced over it but there sure seems to be alot more minus than positive. eek! What up wit dat?!?!?!
That's the way it is with the women in your life, you can't win.
Mandelon:
That's the way it is with the women in your life, you can't win.
Wouldn't that be gay??
Ok give it up it doesn't work !!! And we all know why!!!(guys)
Here is a guide to my points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+10
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....0
You leave the toilet seat up.....-85
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....+10
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+45
In the snow .....+48
But return with beer.....0
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....+50
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....+50
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+50 (it's always something...like a cat)
You pummel it with a six iron.....-10 (hate violence to animals)
It's her cat.....-40 (not big on cats...but if it were a my dog...then it'd be -100000000...divorce court)
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....-5
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy....+10
Named Tiffany.....0
Tiffany is a dancer.....0
With breast implants.....0
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....0
Okay, it is a sports bar.....0
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....0
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ...-50 (face painting is taking it a bit too far)
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+10
The pal is single....+5
He drives a Ferrari....-10 (means his friend has a small penis and the girls will be looking at my man instead)
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....+15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+40
You take her to a movie you hate.....+60
You take her to a movie you like.....0
It's called Death Cop III.....0
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....0 (I don't go...he goes with a buddy instead)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....0 (I know better...he wouldn't see a foreign film...hates subtitles)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-5
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+50
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-300 (it's your health...self respect)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.....0
You reply, "Where?".....0
You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".....0
Any other response.....0 (I wouldn't ask that...I know if something looks like crap or not...no need for a second opinion)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....+100
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+150
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+250
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "Well, what do you think I should do?".....0
You have fallen asleep.....-2000
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....0
You don't talk.....0
You spend time with her......+10
You don't spend time with her.....+10
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-100
Is it that bad being a man? eek!
Wow that was a lot of work, +50 for you!
Mandelon:
Wow that was a lot of work, +50 for you! I will be honest here...once a upon a time long long ago I thought my Mr. Miller was an ass...so I actually charted him on the calendar for 3 months (put an A on the days he was an ass, G on the days he was Grumpy, and N on the days he was Nice..etc...etc...)
Well after charting it, I discovered Mr. Miller is a real ass the week before my 'painters' are in. And so since then I've taken things in stride and try not to dock too many points for lame stuff...and I try to give points where points are due
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