Reply With QuoteLMAO!!
The Hitman
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first
hole of their
local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag
called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn`t turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You`re welcome." So they started
playing and enjoyed
the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way
around the course,
one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do
for a living?"
"I`m a hit man," was the reply.
"You`re joking!" was the response.
"No, I`m not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and
pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper`s rifle with a large
telescopic sight. "Here
are my tools."
"That`s a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other
friend, "Can I
take a look? I think I might be able to see my house
from here." So he
picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the
direction of his
house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight
is fantastic. I
can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in
the bedroom. Ha,
wow, she`s naked! What the hell? Wait a minute, that`s
my neighbor, my
good friend in there with her....... He`s naked too!
That bitch! That
bastard!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a
hit?"
"I do a flat rate, one thousand dollars every time I
pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she`s always been mouthy, so
shoot her in the
mouth. Then the neighbor, he`s a friend of mine, so
just shoot his dick
off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle
and took aim,
standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the husband
impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman
calmly, "I think I can
save you a grand here.....
LMAO!!
Now that's what I call value...
Classic. I'll have to pass that one around.
Damn, an honest business man.....and on the golf course?????
Pretty funny..
After that story, I need to remember to make sure all the blinds are closed.
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