SO Cal Barbies from Mattel

[CA Stu]

Mattel recently announced the release of
Limited-Edition So-Cal dolls
for the Southern California market:
Irvine Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine
Spectrum. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus
SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie- cutter
house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.
Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Tustin Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with
Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost
easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education.
Traffic-jamming
cell phone sold separately.
Van Nuys Barbie
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie
comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted
windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark
and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills.
Unless
you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Santa Monica Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card,
and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of
them.
Fontana Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her
shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr.
CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she ! is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate
flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Newport Beach Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a
leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while
entertaining friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.
Riverside Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a
pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the
time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Laguna Beach Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow".
She
does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Laguna Beach
Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for
free.
Long Beach Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant
doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken
and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find
since the addition of the infant.
Rancho Santa Margarita Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is
because he's always away hunting.
City of Industry Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984
Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in
the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a
meatpacker's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand.
Green cards are not available for City of Industry Barbie or Ken.
West Hollywood Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from
Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on"
parts.

[NOTALENT]

lol..thank freakin hilarious...I think u need the compton barbie next..: Shes packin and shes serious..u dont giver her what u want shell pop a cap in ur ass...lol thug for life.

[fourspeednup]

Fontana Barbie
I think I'm in love!

[totenhosen]

good stuff

[HighRoller]

I heard that most of the Barbie dolls listed do not come with Ken... They use Ignacio the pool boy for that!!

[topless]

Hey I think I know who they modeled Fontana Barbie after but the only thing is she lives in Norco! LMAO and NO its not me.

[Krazy K]

Hey, where's Santa Ana Barbie??
Living on welfare while Jose Ken is standing on the street corner waiting for a contractor, sucking down Budweiser. Jesus Ken stops by to see SA Barbie and impregnates her. Now she has 4 kids with 4 different fathers driving a uninsured Ford Tempo with one missing headlight.

[My Man's Sportin' Wood]

I have a trailer trash barbie. My brother got it for me for Christmas right before Mattel had them all pulled. She is fantastic. One tooth is missing, she has on Daisy Duke shorts and a halter top, and a cigarette hangin' out of her mouth. I had her next to my JFK GI Joe, but I was worried they would make babies and I might have an infestation on my hands.