The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating "Oh my god!" said the Queen. "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?" The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly." "Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job. "Oh my God!" said the Queen.. "What's happening in there?" The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always
live right and be helpful. His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt.
The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he
loved him despite his ways.
Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful there, and he was very
happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn't seen him there...
God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life
and went to Hell instead.
The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to
see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other.
Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you
let me into Heaven with you. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don't understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment".
God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son.
The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
How about Thursday Fun:
Bill Clinton remembered........
From a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he
misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest
thing we ever got to having a black man as President."
Number 1 - He played the sax.
Number 2 - He smoked weed.
Number 3 - He screwed ugly white women.
"Even now - Look at him. His wife works and he don't; And, he gets a
check from the goverment every month.
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out
that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it
would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all subsequent copies.
The head abbot replies, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, the head monk goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by, and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young new monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for the elder monk. He sees him banging his head against the floor. His forehead is all bloody and bruised, and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is "celebrate."
Originally posted by JetBoatRich
How about Thursday Fun:
Bill Clinton remembered........
From a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he
misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest
thing we ever got to having a black man as President."
Number 1 - He played the sax.
Number 2 - He smoked weed.
Number 3 - He screwed ugly white women.
"Even now - Look at him. His wife works and he don't; And, he gets a
check from the goverment every month.
HAHA,,, I like that shit.
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