Supposed to be funny but ...

[FMluvswater]

this sure reminded me of the plights of some of the guys on here ...
MARRIAGE "MIRANDA" RIGHTS
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted AND MISUNDERSTOOD AND then used AND HELD against you FOREVER.
If you give up that right YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE for what she thought you meant by what you said when you should have exercised your right to remain silent. (Even if you meant the exact opposite of what she thought you meant.)
You have the right to an attorney, although that won't help. YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY THEM and you'll still lose everything in the divorce settlement.
YOU CANNOT WIN - give up all hope and just shut your mouth - even though you'll be punished for remaining silent - because you're wrong for not saying what she thinks you're thinking.
Repeat after me - "Yes, Dear!"
ANYTHING ELSE WILL BE MISUNDERSTOOD, AND YOU WILL SUFFER FOR IT.

[Forkin' Crazy]

Reminds me of the time I got arrested for "aggravated ignorance with intent to distribute"...LOL!

[Checkmate]

Also,
ALL convictions have a MANdatory life sentence without parole.
Women NEVER forget, they just keep quiet til they feel the need to bring it up again.

[FMluvswater]

I must be missing something here. I keep finding these things labelled as jokes and I just think OMG why would two people stay married if the dynamic was really like that?
Like this one ...
The Assertive Husband
I was tired of being bossed around by my wife; so I went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said I needed to build my self-esteem, and so he gave me a book on assertiveness, which I read on the way home. I finished the book by the time I reached my house.
I stormed into the house and walked up to my wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, and said, "From now on, I want you to know that "I" am the man of this house, and my word is law!
I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterwards.
Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And, when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The funeral director," she said.
****
That's just plain nasty no matter which way I look at it.

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

I like it.. till death do us part..