Reply With Quote"People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair."
"If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted."
"People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair."
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."
"To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" - you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks.""
"If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact."
My personal favorite:
If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
"Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one."
"I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, 'Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you.' So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex."
Originally posted by Tom Brown
"If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact." Now That's Funny!
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